Being There
by ALargeBear
Summary: You knew how to give Chika the push she needed to get going, but when Chika stumbled, You wasn't sure she knew how to pick her up.


You wasn't sure if she had ever seen Chika so outwardly disheartened in all their years of friendship. Sure, Chika had cried from time to time just like anyone else, but You knew that there was never anything that she put her heart and soul into. That all changed with Aqours, and that lead to some of their highest highs together.

And maybe Chika's lowest low.

"Chika," You said, her voice dying in the silence of Chika's room as she stepped in, sliding the door shut behind her. "Your sisters said it was alright to come up."

Chika didn't give any audible response, or make any show of acknowledging You's presence. She was balled up. Knees pressed up against her chest as she sat and stared at the laptop sitting on the table in the middle of her room. The only light coming from the bright glow of the screen.

You rubbed her sweaty palms together and took a few steps deeper into the room. She caught a glance of the screen. It played their final show together during the Love Live competition. No sound, just Chika absently staring at the screen, rewinding to watch a single particular part over and over. You was told by Chika's sisters it had been like this since it all happened only a few days ago.

"You know, we're all having a party to celebrate how well we did at Love Live. Everyone in town is going to be there. I know it'll be a lot of fun, and it just wouldn't be the same if you weren't there." You tried to inject some hollow cheer into her voice but was met again with silence and an emotionless stare. "It's also a little graduation party for Mari, Dia, and Kanan. You wouldn't want to miss that, right?"

Chika shifted, pulling her legs in even tighter. "Why would we want to celebrate anyway?"

Her voice was an emotionless husk, and You felt her heart sink. "Because we did really well, and everyone in the town thinks so, too."

No answer.

You took a deep breath, resigning herself to the silence as she glanced the darkened room. It was the same as it had been since she could remember. The most notable difference being a small trophy sitting on the nearby dresser. She could just make out the inscription on the front.

Love Live runner up - Aqours

She didn't know why it was so prominently displayed. It wasn't doing any good for Chika. In fact, it was probably the root cause of it all. But she could see Chika's occasional glances toward it. They were quick before her eyes would snap straight back to the screen.

You shook her head and gripped fiercely at the skirt of her uniform. She willed herself to take a couple of steps closer. Laptop now in full view as Chika continued to loop it to that same part.

There were words were trapped in You's throat. She wanted to say something, anything. "Chika." It came out strained.

"What?" Chika said, her voice not hateful or harsh, just void of any feeling.

Chika tore her eyes from the screen for the first time, and You got a good look. The shining and incessant brightness that she had always known had dimmed. Streaked instead with a criss-cross of deep red lines and peppered with budding tears.

You swallowed, hard. "You should really stop watching that." The words were more accusatory than intended, and You cursed herself. Why couldn't she be good at this?

Chika's gaze only held for a second before switching right back to the screen that replayed over and over. No answer, just like before.

The atmosphere was stifling, and You could feel herself beginning to crack under the intensity. She needed something, anything, to help her find whatever courage she needed to be upfront with Chika.

She fumbled around in her jacket pocket and pulled out her phone. Unlocking it, she flipped through her contacts, finger hovering over RIko's name. You figured Riko would know what to do or what to say, they were all very close after all, but she couldn't force her finger down. Riko had told her before that she wasn't the best person to help Chika through something like this. It always felt like a lie.

You brushed the idea aside, flicking back up through her contacts. Kanan's name caught her eye. Chika and Kanan had been friends just as long, and she was older. It would only make sense to ask her for help. But again, she couldn't force herself to make the call as her eyes flicked between Chika's motionless figure and the glow of her phone.

No, she could do this, You told herself. She shoved her phone back into her pocket and took a few deep breaths. It was Chika, her oldest and closest friend. If she couldn't be there for her at a time like this, could she even continue to call herself that?

You took another few steps forward and sat down shoulder to shoulder with Chika, who made no effort to acknowledge the new presence. You watched the looping video, it was what she expected.

It was a single part of their final performance together during the Love Live competition. The camera zoomed in on Chika, and she smiled back with a little cute nod. You knew it was supposed to just be a simple turn and pose, but just as Chika was going to finish the quick spin, her feet tangled together and she stumbled. It was only a short few seconds and wasn't a very glaring mistake, but it was the only mistake. No matter how quickly Chika recovered, with the camera only focused on her, that stumble was broadcasted out to everyone watching.

You's heart clenched every time the video looped back. Of course she had seen it, everyone had. So when time came to announce the winner, and the announcer read off Saint Snow, she could vividly remember Chika's face. It was broken as if all of it was her fault.

Nobody had blamed her for it, or at least Kanan and You made sure nobody did. Everyone was encouraging and happy to have just made it far as they did. It was a miracle in itself that a bunch of girls from a small country town had made it so far, and everyone knew none of it would have even been possible if it weren't for Chika and everything she had done. But it wasn't as easy convincing Chika of that.

Chika sniffled and You forced her attention away from the screen and back to her friend. She wasn't sure she could remember a time when she had to be the one to put Chika back together. It was always Chika who knew what to do and say to help, not You.

You always tried to liken everything in her life to swimming, and her friendship with Chika was no different. She was always the one giving Chika the little push she needed to jump into the pool and start swimming, she knew just what made her tick and how to push her forward and cheering her on after every stroke. But when Chika couldn't go anymore and started to sink, You didn't know how to pull her back up and help her get back not track. She could only watch from the sidelines as Chika flailed helplessly.

"I really don't think you should keep watching this," You muttered, their shoulders gently brushing together.

"Why not?" Chika's eyes we're still fixed forward.

"Because it was just one little mistake. It's not that big of a deal." You saw Chika's back stiffen and wanted to hit herself.

"It wasn't just 'one little mistake'." Chika's voice rose louder than You had heard in days. She turned her head and You could make out the shining tears in the artificial light. "I was the only one who messed up during the entire show. If that didn't happen we probably would have won."

"You don't know that for sure," You said.

Chika narrowed her eyes. "Everyone else was so perfect, and I messed everything up."

You opened and closed her mouth. She couldn't find anything to say under Chika's pointed stare. The desire to pull Chika in tight and tell her everything she needed to hear took over, but You's arms stayed pressed tight against her side.

New tears slid down Chika's cheeks. "This was all my big dumb idea, and I messed it all up when it mattered the most."

You looked away, tears of her own on the verge of falling. "Y-you didn't mess anything up, Chika."

"I didn't mess anything up?" Chika pointed back at the screen, forcing You's attention as she re-looped the video. "Look, I'm the one who fell and ruined our last performance."

"It was still a good performance."

"It would have been a perfect performance if I didn't mess up."

You could feel her own tears streak down her face. Frustration building at her own inability to say anything. As she heard Chika sob next to her, You only felt like more and more powerless, like a failure.

Chika stopped the video. You could see her pull her legs in closer to her chest and bury her face. The sobs just a little louder than before. You's heart clenched.

"Chika I… I don't know what to do," You said, her voice breaking under her own cries. "I want to help you. I want to make sure you know that everyone still cares about you and that nobody blames you for anything. I want you to know that you're just such a miracle to everybody in Aqours. I want to tell you that all of this only happened because of you and your amazing idea. I want to tell you but I just don't know how. I want to be there for you just like you always were for me, but I don't know what to do. I feel like such a horrible friend because I don't know what to say to help you right now."

You rubbed her face with her sleeve, snot and tears all getting mixed up. Chika shifted her head onto her knees to look at You, letting her continue. "I just want you to be happy again and smile. Everyone wants you to be happy Chika because we all love you so much. Your family loves you, everyone in Aqours loves you, and I love you. I love you so so so much Chika. One little thing like this will never ever change that. I love you. I love you. I love you. I don't know what else to say."

You took a deep breath, her vision blurred as she stared down at her legs. She wanted to get up and leave, run away from it all, but she felt a hand grab her own. It was warm and sweaty, probably covered in a mixture of tears and snot, but it was Chika's.

"B-But I messed up," Chika said, her voice strangled.

"That doesn't matter." You squeezed harder.

"But it was our last show."

"You're the only reason we were there in the first place."

"We could have won."

"It was never about winning."

"You mean that, right?"

"Of course I do."

You felt their fingers unlace and a pair of arms wrap around her waist. Chika buried her face into You's chest and she immediately pulled her in close. Chika didn't look up, only burying her face further and further into You's chest.

"Thank you." Chika's voice was muffled into You's uniform.

You didn't answer, instead, she brought a hand up and ran it through Chika's hair as she continued to cling tight. The occasional sniffle could be heard, but there wasn't any heaviness to it anymore. You felt like things would be alright.

"Hey, You," Chika said in a quiet voice, looking up from You's chest. "Can you say that stuff again."

"What stuff?" You asked, still brushing fingers through Chika's hair.

"You know, all of that stuff about love."

You finally smiled. "Everybody loves you Chika. Your family, Aqours, probably the whole town too."

"What about you?" Chika looked up, her cheeks dusted a light pink.

"I love you the most."

You met Chika's eyes. They were still webbed with deep red lines and had a sheen of fresh tears, but the brightness that You loved was back.

Chika smiled a genuine smile for the first time in days. She laid her head down on You's shoulder and pulled in as close as she could.


End file.
